Talking With Your Customers Not At Your Customers

If you want to generate brand loyalty and create customer evangelists for your business or nonprofit endeavor, here’s one non-negotiable rule: You have to talk with your customers not at your customers.

Good communication is always a two-way conversation. Hackneyed common sense, right? But why then do companies so often fail at this?

One reason is that we don’t recognize this for what it is: a relationship. Like all relationships, while in existence, there is some level of interdependence for both parties. They need things from each other, they have shared experiences, and they tend to influence each other. Because of this interdependence, anything that changes or impacts one member of the relationship will have some level of impact on the other member. So two-way communication is key to maintaining the long-term health and success of the relationship.

The same holds true for the customer-company relationship. We need our customers and our customers need what we provide. This is an interdepentdent relationship if there ever was one. And just like in our personal relationships, we need to share about what's going on with us and listen for what's going on with them in order to manage change. Neglecting this communication leads to relationship detoriation.

The second reason companies fail to talk with customers and not at customers is that we go into this relationship full of agendas. Ok sure, sometimes we dress our agendas up with nicer names: “our message,” “our vision,” “our strategic solution,” and so on. But they are what they are: agendas of set goals we are trying to bring to fruition in which the other party must play a role. Having an agenda is not bad—business need goals—but they become a problem when they are allow to dictate the conversation to the point where listening fails and the two-way communication ceases. Agendas that lack respect for the unpredictable will not succeed. Relationships that lack respect for the automonmy other party will not last.

How well we communicate is first-and-foremost based on being in a conversation with people. Even if we have something very specific to communicate to our customers or some sort of message that we want or are directed to send, the communication is still needs to be approached as part of an ongoing dialog.

What's the best way to start such a conversation? Ask somebody a question and then listen. More on what to ask, how to listen, and what to listen for as the week continues….